7 Great Questions to Ask Your Friends

There is something so refreshing about having authentic, heartfelt conversation with someone you care about. On a normal day, we all interact with numerous people through “small talk”, but really being able to “share heart” with someone is a special thing.

What some people do not realize is that there is a big difference between communication and conversation. Communication is simply exchanging information verbally with someone. Conversation involves connection and a mutual give and take of questions and answers.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.Mark Twain

Does conversation come hard for you? Or you are looking for fresh questions to ask the people in your life? Consider asking your good friends the following 7 questions…

1. How are you feeling lately?

This is a kind of a common question, but if it is asked in the right way you can get a heartfelt answer. You are not asking how their day is going or what is new in their life. You are asking how they are feeling.

Key: The answer to this question should involve the articulation of feelings. I am ok, lately I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed in life. (In which, you would ask follow-up questions about what is overwhelming them)

2. What is God speaking to your heart lately?

This is one of my favorite questions to ask people. I love to hear about what God is teaching people or challenging people in. (This is also a good question to ask yourself frequently!)

3. What is the biggest desire of your heart right now?

Everyone has longings and desires in their heart, and people usually like to talk about the things that they are dreaming about. This is a great question to get beneath the surface of normal “life update” type conversation.

4. If you could do anything, and make a living doing it, what would you do?

This is another question that really helps you get to know your friends and their long term desires. This question gives great insight into what your friends value.

5. What three words would you use to describe yourself?  What three would describe me?

This is another one of my favorite questions because it brings so much self-awareness to yourself and others. Sometimes we are so familiar with our strengths that we are blinded to them. Quality friends are good at reminding us of our good characteristics.

6. What would be the “trip of a lifetime” for you? What is your dream vacation?

This is just a really fun carefree question to get to know your friends better! I love hearing about the places that people want to travel and the people they want to meet.

7. Anything you are struggling with lately?

This is one of those vulnerable questions that rarely get asked, but it is a question that should be asked to close friends that you have a trusting relationship with. We all need friends in our life that we can be “real” with and who will help care for us and give us Godly perspective in difficult times.

Well, hopefully there is a question or two on this list that you have never asked your good friend before! Grab a coffee and a good friend and get in some good heartfelt conversations!

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with saltCol. 4:6 NIV

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Erica Giesow

Erica Giesow

Erica is the Director of EPIC Commission College-age Discipleship Program at Valley Family Church in Kalamazoo, MI. She is wife to Eric and mom to Ella & Eli. Erica loves heartfelt conversations, animal looking (not touching), and a little coffee in her cream.
Erica Giesow

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